Ghosted, Then Zombie-d? How to Handle People Who Keep Coming Back
Ever had someone disappear from your life—no explanation, no warning, only to pop back up months later with a casual “Hey, how’ve you been?” If so, congratulations, you’ve been zombie-d!
Zombie-ing is like ghosting’s awkward sequel. It’s when someone, who once vanished into thin air, suddenly reappears, casually acting as if nothing happened. Maybe they start liking your posts, reply to an old story, or send a late-night text as if they never left. And just like that, they’re back in your orbit—leaving you confused and wondering, Why now?
If you’ve experienced this, you’re not alone. Bumble’s 2025 dating trends survey shows that zombie-ing is becoming increasingly common. The good news? Young women like you are getting smarter about spotting red flags and setting better boundaries.
So why do people zombie, and how should you handle it when it happens? Let’s break it down.
Why Do People Zombie?
There’s no single reason, but here are some of the most common:
They’re lonely or bored. Maybe things didn’t work out with someone else, and they’re circling back to familiar territory.
They assume ghosting wasn’t a big deal. Some people don’t see ghosting as hurtful, so they think it’s fine to reappear without acknowledging it.
They want validation. They may not actually want to date you, but they like knowing you’re still interested.
They’re testing the waters. Instead of making a real effort, they drop a casual message to see if you’ll take the bait.
While some zombie-ers genuinely regret ghosting and want to reconnect, many are just looking for an ego boost or keeping you as a backup option.
How to Handle a Zombie-ing Situation as a Young Woman?
If someone who ghosted you comes back, here are some recommendations on what to do:
Check their intentions. Are they acknowledging the ghosting? Do they seem genuinely interested in making things right, or are they just bored?
Decide what you want. Do you even want this person back in your life? If they left you feeling confused or hurt before, what’s changed now?
Set boundaries. If their return feels disingenuous, it’s okay to ignore them, call them out, or simply move on. You don’t owe them anything.
Trust patterns, not words. If someone ghosted once, there’s a good chance they’ll do it again. Actions speak louder than a random “Hey, stranger” text.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Better!
Zombie-ing can be frustrating because it often leaves you without closure. But the truth is, closure doesn’t always come from the other person—it comes from you deciding who is worth your time and energy.
If someone disappeared on you once and reappeared without a genuine explanation, don’t let them disrupt your peace. You deserve relationships that feel secure, consistent, and full of real effort—not half-hearted comebacks.
And if you ever find yourself tempted to zombie someone else? Ask yourself why. Real connections require honesty and respect—so if you ghosted someone but want to reconnect, start with an apology, not a lazy text.
At the end of the day, the right people won’t leave you guessing.
Struggling With Dating or Confusing Relationship Dynamics Like This One?
You don’t have to navigate it alone. Our team of all female therapists specializes in helping young women work through dating challenges, build confidence, and set boundaries that feel right and authentic. We understand it’s not easy, but if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just need support in figuring out what’s best for you, we’re here to help and guide you step by step with compassion. Reach out today, and let’s start creating the life you truly deserve.
